I am nervous about my living situation. A little over a year ago I moved into a guys house that was renting out rooms. Everything seemed solid until I moved in and realized that he was selling the house. I mean, who doesn't bother telling the person you just rented a room out to that you may be selling the damn house. Well, everything was cool up until recently when I looked out the window and there is a big ole FOR SALE BY OWNER sign stuck into the ground. Also, there was this guy carrying a clipboard (henceforth named clipboard man) and although I do not know what or who he was looking for it got me really nervous. Then to top it off, One of my roommates just moved out earlier today. This has me nervous.
It may not be the best place on the planet to stay, but it is all I have. This is what I call home. I like living here because I am left alone. I have realized since being here that I like being by myself. I don't have to worry about whether or not some one likes me or if they will stab me in the throat. I just like being one with my thoughts. The problem with that is that with my limited income I have to rely on someone else for room and board. That means roommates. I have only lived with people a couple of times and the time previous to this was not pleasant to say the least.
What has me nervous is the fact that he may be losing the house but just hasn't told me yet. I don't want to come home and see that I have no home. What if I can't find another place that fast? I have been out on the streets twice in my life and I can remember one emotion. Loneliness. Not the kind of loneliness you have when you are missing someone, but the kind where you don't know your place in the world, or that the place you were assuming became undone and now you are lost as to where to go next. Since it is the weekend of the 4th I will have to see Monday. I really feel like crying.
