What happens when you give up on yourself? You become me. A shell of what I use to be a a ghost of what I wanted to be. I have never thought of myself as doing great things, just someone trying to get what I believe to be the reasons for us being on this planet. I make attempts to obtain these things and it seems my attempts are for nothing. I try not to blame others because I hate when others do the same. So it is all my fault, and there is nothing I can do.
Received a letter from the prosecutor who will be putting me before a judge for contempt of court for failure to pay child support. If you are a regular reader you know that I have made many attempts to correct this, but all those attempts fell on deaf ears. I must now face a judge and let him decide if I am worthy enough to keep my freedom. I feel as though I did nothing wrong in trying to better myself in order to help my child, but the judge and many don't see that. They will see a guy trying to skip on his obligation. I wish they were right that way I would not feel the way I do about not being there for my kid.
I will have to make a decision by June 4th on what I will do.
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