Yeah yeah I know that it is well into the new year and I have just started stated my new year resolutions but hey prograstination is something I will work on this year as well. Most people have the same old resolutions, losing weight or giving to charity or stop hitting their girlfriends. Me, I have very simple goals that I want to obtain in order to rub my fortunes in other's faces. Yes, I am shallow and I have a revengeful streak.....let move on.
Winning the lotto: This is less of a resolution and more of a life's goal. I have always wanted to win several millions dollars, where then the government takes more than half and then have my ex-wife drag me through court to take the rest. Hey, but atleast I will be able to drive up to the court house in the shiniest car millions of dollars can get me.
Obtain a monkey: I would say buy a monkey but I am being realistic. There is really no way for me to BUY a monkey, what with all the paperwork and customs crap you have to put up with. And the lawsuits..... I just want a monkey so it can come on stage with me when I perform and when some drunk ass clown starts jibba jabbing and I will just scream "Get him Jimbo!" and the monkey will let out a hellish scream and pounce on this person with a flurry of attacks scractches and groin grabs never before seen!
Do more shows: I have (like many other upstart comics) would like to do more work. There is nothing more frustratiing to a comic just getting in teh business then a headliner or a booker or club owner that will not give you a shot to show yourself. This business (like most of show business) has become more about getting more money out of the talent then trying to bring about new talent itself. That is why I enjoy Unlce D's Comedy Underground so much because he gave me a shot when other people were just sitting on their hands. He let me do the coporate stuff and I appreciate that. The summer time is a bad time to be a comic because most of the shows that I do (one nighters) are often not up in the summer because people want to go outside and not sit in a dank room and listen to a stranger curse.
Treo 700p (or other cool smartphone): I love my Treo 650. It does a lot of stuff for me that a normal phone just could not do. But I am sick and tired of the slow internet speeds. That is why I want a Treo 700p. Not only does it have EV-DO support (that is Verizon's high speed over the air network) but it also has a 1.3 megapixel camera so I will be able to do all those cool things like take pictures for the blog (something I have been wanting to do for awhile).
Revise the blog: I have been doing this blog for over 2 years so I think it needs a little pick me up. I will start by doing a weekly video post (probably friday detailing all the big news events of the past week. I will also start putting more pictures into the blog to give readers a closer glimpse of the crap I call my life.
And those are my resolutions. I think I am forgetting one but who the hell cares......Oh! Loosing weight....Loosing weight is for sissies!
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